I drove up with Will in the early hours of yesterday and we made the 2pm sailing from Oban with ease. The sun was shining as we drove north and it was wonderful to arrive at our lovely home The White House of Aros looking at its best in the sunshine.
The sheer tranquil beauty of our surroundings has, for the first time in six weeks, given me some inner peace. I managed to sleep for over 8 hours last night and just feel fully rested despite our departure from London at 0415 yesterday!
Paul would be proud of how immaculate everything is looking here, all thanks to Carl and Lisa who are working tirelessly here and keeping the show very much on the road.
Will is happy to be here too.
As Charles mentioned, I decided 2 days ago that I would just pop over to Austria before Easter. This is manageable flying from Glasgow to Amsterdam and then on to Zurich. I will get to the Hotel Alpenrose, I hope just before 10pm on Wednesday night. I will return on Easter Saturday back to Glasgow and will go and spend the night with Keith and Margie at Laudale, as I will miss the ferries back to the island. I will come over first thing on Easter Sunday from Lochaline.
I have not been able to see Paul since the 17th March, which is a long time. I have had to manage the burden of distance from Paul as the care he is receiving at Rankweil outweighs that pain. I know the numerous friends, who have blown in to see him in the past week, are not only amazed at Paul's progress, but are also very impressed with the standard of care he is receiving.
It is hard for me as I have not witnessed this latest phase of progress. Every step forward he takes attaches new anxieties for me as to how far he will be able to go in the next area of progress. For this I have to remain very measured and cautious and will continue to do so for many months to come.
Paul always had this wonderful mantra, which he applied very much in his business and personal life: expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Every step he takes, whether it is moving a finger or a toe or opening an eye, is a bonus for me.
Having walked in to the Critical Care Unit at Feldkirch Hospital with Charles and William on the 19th of February, the doctors shared with us the enormity of his severe injuries. They also shared with us the reality of the struggle we would have to bear in the weeks ahead. Their immediate focus at that time was solely life.
I have had to start from this point. I have never on this journey given any false hopes to our children. I cannot.
I know many of you are very optimistic and for that I thank you. I am just very very cautious and I remain measured in my perspective. I move forward with each day and what it brings. As Charles so beautifully said, the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening.
I cannot thank all those who have managed to visit Paul, his parents, our sister in law, Auntie Catharine, and I know his brother Mark is going to visit him soon. All the ongoing love and messages of support and wonderful prayers. I don't think Paul has any idea how greatly loved he is. I hope it won't be too long before he is able to realise this love.
I promise to give an update by the end of next week when I will have seen this progress that some of you have witnessed and be able to believe it for myself.
xx PENNY xx
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
An Important Day For The Family
Today has been an important and very happy day for all the Hiltons. Firstly, Charlotte arrived back having flown from Canada early this morning into London. She has had a wonderful three months away, and has returned brimming with stories of what has been the happiest of times. Everyone is thrilled to have her home. She has blossomed in every sense.
However, the very happy news is an encouraging development that we wanted to share with everyone concerning Paul. Last night, the tracheotomy was removed and Paul was, for the first time, able to share a few words with us. I understand that he asked a visitor the expected question “Where is Penny”? What more could we wish for today? The Medical Team expected some encouraging developments with Paul’s speech this week and their assessment has been absolutely correct. A group of speech therapists has started to work with Paul and with their physiotherapy colleagues and the medical team. Paul continues to benefit from wonderful care and treatment.
Penny heads to Mull with William tomorrow. She will then fly out to Zurich on Wednesday afternoon and will be with Paul on Thursday, leaving William and Charlotte to spend an happy two days together in Mull at The White House.
As ever, Charles
However, the very happy news is an encouraging development that we wanted to share with everyone concerning Paul. Last night, the tracheotomy was removed and Paul was, for the first time, able to share a few words with us. I understand that he asked a visitor the expected question “Where is Penny”? What more could we wish for today? The Medical Team expected some encouraging developments with Paul’s speech this week and their assessment has been absolutely correct. A group of speech therapists has started to work with Paul and with their physiotherapy colleagues and the medical team. Paul continues to benefit from wonderful care and treatment.
Penny heads to Mull with William tomorrow. She will then fly out to Zurich on Wednesday afternoon and will be with Paul on Thursday, leaving William and Charlotte to spend an happy two days together in Mull at The White House.
As ever, Charles
Paul.... Some Progress.
I have known Paul since we worked together in the eighties and have kept closely in touch since then. Having heard that Penny had to return to the UK to be there for William and Charlotte on their return... and to recuperate from a developing chest infection, I thought I would investigate and try and support an old friend and offer some company.
William fforde has given an excellent description of Feldkirch and Rankweil so I shall limit myself to a few impressions.
The absolute key was the fervent hope that despite whatever injuries Paul had, his unique dynamic persona was still there. Frankly the initial impression on entering the ward, which is spotless and marvellously and humanely run, is that there are a number of lost souls, as well as those showing signs of recovery. While we are all so concerned for Paul, this must have been a daunting prospect for Penny, particularly after initial transfer. From her accounts and those of Charles there must have been very difficult moments and concern about Paul’s prognosis.
It is against this background that I am doing my best not to get too carried away. The very first impression was that Paul the person was definitely there! Over the three days from Friday to Sunday that I visited, Paul “connected” by smile, nod or squeeze of hand. While one sided.... Paul at this stage still had a breathing tube in his trachea, it felt like conversation, and Paul showed particular interest in his family.... and the outdoors and Mull in particular. Talking about creeping up to the river bank and spotting salmon in their pools, catching mackerel and water borne activities seemed to really catch his attention!
On the second afternoon, Paul seemed uncomfortable with the tube in his windpipe and the nurse at the station checked but felt that it was more an irritation than painful. Then the realisation struck that Paul was actually lifting his left hand to touch the tube and was doing this on several occasions! Gradually I noticed other signs of movement but I will leave Penny to describe these after her talks with Dr Eiler as I would not want to misinterpret or exaggerate the position.
On the Sunday I arrived slightly later, and Joanna Lambert was visiting and cheering up Paul. Previously Paul had moved his Adam’s apple but now he seemed to want to try and form a letter or word. Joanna can describe her own feelings but as a co-visitor (as suggested by William!) I thought her warm approach brought out not just response but signs of emotion from Paul, again suggesting another step in recovery.
No doubt it will be months rather than weeks before Paul can leave hospital, and it does seem as if Rankweil is the best place to be at the moment. Penny and the medical people stress that direct one to one conversation and people contact is great stimulation for Paul... and as he spends a greater time awake each day must also help make life more interesting and pass the time. I would encourage friends to check with Penny and see when a visit would suit best.... but chatting does seem a great tonic and is welcomed by the patient!
The Alpen Rose is a warm friendly well run hotel with great food and lodgings. The Austrian train service smart modern and ultra efficient making it easy to visit Paul who is showing definite signs of his old determination and interest in life (though long conversations can still persuade the speaker of powers of hypnosis as the patient drifts off to sleep!)
Well done Paul and Penny.
William Forsyth Visit 27-29th March
William fforde has given an excellent description of Feldkirch and Rankweil so I shall limit myself to a few impressions.
The absolute key was the fervent hope that despite whatever injuries Paul had, his unique dynamic persona was still there. Frankly the initial impression on entering the ward, which is spotless and marvellously and humanely run, is that there are a number of lost souls, as well as those showing signs of recovery. While we are all so concerned for Paul, this must have been a daunting prospect for Penny, particularly after initial transfer. From her accounts and those of Charles there must have been very difficult moments and concern about Paul’s prognosis.
It is against this background that I am doing my best not to get too carried away. The very first impression was that Paul the person was definitely there! Over the three days from Friday to Sunday that I visited, Paul “connected” by smile, nod or squeeze of hand. While one sided.... Paul at this stage still had a breathing tube in his trachea, it felt like conversation, and Paul showed particular interest in his family.... and the outdoors and Mull in particular. Talking about creeping up to the river bank and spotting salmon in their pools, catching mackerel and water borne activities seemed to really catch his attention!
On the second afternoon, Paul seemed uncomfortable with the tube in his windpipe and the nurse at the station checked but felt that it was more an irritation than painful. Then the realisation struck that Paul was actually lifting his left hand to touch the tube and was doing this on several occasions! Gradually I noticed other signs of movement but I will leave Penny to describe these after her talks with Dr Eiler as I would not want to misinterpret or exaggerate the position.
On the Sunday I arrived slightly later, and Joanna Lambert was visiting and cheering up Paul. Previously Paul had moved his Adam’s apple but now he seemed to want to try and form a letter or word. Joanna can describe her own feelings but as a co-visitor (as suggested by William!) I thought her warm approach brought out not just response but signs of emotion from Paul, again suggesting another step in recovery.
No doubt it will be months rather than weeks before Paul can leave hospital, and it does seem as if Rankweil is the best place to be at the moment. Penny and the medical people stress that direct one to one conversation and people contact is great stimulation for Paul... and as he spends a greater time awake each day must also help make life more interesting and pass the time. I would encourage friends to check with Penny and see when a visit would suit best.... but chatting does seem a great tonic and is welcomed by the patient!
The Alpen Rose is a warm friendly well run hotel with great food and lodgings. The Austrian train service smart modern and ultra efficient making it easy to visit Paul who is showing definite signs of his old determination and interest in life (though long conversations can still persuade the speaker of powers of hypnosis as the patient drifts off to sleep!)
Well done Paul and Penny.
William Forsyth Visit 27-29th March
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Paul
The headline is that Paul is very much with us.
I felt that Paul knew who I was, and when he wished to connect to me could clearly hear and understand what I had to say, and nod his head in answer to questions. It is more difficult for him to shake his head and sometimes he doesn’t seem to want to answer a question. During the 2½ hours of my stay he needed occasional periods of rest, but when I asked him if he wanted me to stay (for as long as I could) he always nodded his head.
The prognosis (given by the medics - not doctors, but nursing staff who are clearly experienced with this kind of injury): it is a matter of time, probably a long time (they would not say how long, but I got this feeling that it would be fairly long), for the brain to recover from these injuries.
As to the speed of recovery, during my visit he did something he couldn’t do the day before: the speech therapists required him to open his mouth to form an ‘o’ sound. After about 3 days of them working at it, he succeeded. The first steps are the most difficult.
The medics there only knew him as a Mr Frank Hilton from England, who has had a skiing accident, and whose recovery they are charged with overseeing. But we know that he is Paul. We know that Paul is not to be underestimated. We know he pushes boundaries.
I told the medics to call him Paul (having first asked him if he would like this, and got the nod). Then I told them that Paul pushes boundaries: watch this space! They laughed (positively, not cynically, I hasten to add). Humour is important in these situations: the speech therapists (a lively pair of girls in, I guess, their late 20s) were entertaining and amusing. They wouldn’t take no for an answer. I could feel Paul enjoying this.
So, if anyone gets to see Paul and finds a medic calling him ‘Mr Hilton’ or ‘Frank’, give ‘em hell! They should also know now (which they didn’t ) that Penny is Penny and Charlotte is Charlotte (they thought the photo of Charlotte on the wall was of Penny!!); they did know that William was William. Wanted on the wall: a photo of Penny (but I gather she hates being photographed, hence no photo of Penny).
William fforde 28th March 2009 (Date of visit 25th March)
I felt that Paul knew who I was, and when he wished to connect to me could clearly hear and understand what I had to say, and nod his head in answer to questions. It is more difficult for him to shake his head and sometimes he doesn’t seem to want to answer a question. During the 2½ hours of my stay he needed occasional periods of rest, but when I asked him if he wanted me to stay (for as long as I could) he always nodded his head.
The prognosis (given by the medics - not doctors, but nursing staff who are clearly experienced with this kind of injury): it is a matter of time, probably a long time (they would not say how long, but I got this feeling that it would be fairly long), for the brain to recover from these injuries.
As to the speed of recovery, during my visit he did something he couldn’t do the day before: the speech therapists required him to open his mouth to form an ‘o’ sound. After about 3 days of them working at it, he succeeded. The first steps are the most difficult.
The medics there only knew him as a Mr Frank Hilton from England, who has had a skiing accident, and whose recovery they are charged with overseeing. But we know that he is Paul. We know that Paul is not to be underestimated. We know he pushes boundaries.
I told the medics to call him Paul (having first asked him if he would like this, and got the nod). Then I told them that Paul pushes boundaries: watch this space! They laughed (positively, not cynically, I hasten to add). Humour is important in these situations: the speech therapists (a lively pair of girls in, I guess, their late 20s) were entertaining and amusing. They wouldn’t take no for an answer. I could feel Paul enjoying this.
So, if anyone gets to see Paul and finds a medic calling him ‘Mr Hilton’ or ‘Frank’, give ‘em hell! They should also know now (which they didn’t ) that Penny is Penny and Charlotte is Charlotte (they thought the photo of Charlotte on the wall was of Penny!!); they did know that William was William. Wanted on the wall: a photo of Penny (but I gather she hates being photographed, hence no photo of Penny).
William fforde 28th March 2009 (Date of visit 25th March)
Photo
As some of you may know, I am a part time photographer. I am not volunteering to take a photo of Penny, but the next visitor should bring one for Paul to see on the wall (and make them all bigger – and, if the medics agree, start putting stuff on the wall, so he can look at it: I feel that he needs stuff up there to keep his mind active).
Anyway, I am in the middle of taking a series of photos, involving movement, in cathedrals across Europe. I took this one in the Dom at Feldkirch, and feel that it sums up Paul’s current position.
A long exposure: the candles, which do not move, represent the constant light of hope - Paul can see them and understand that there is both a way forward and a destination (as indeed we can). The flared colours are from the stained glass windows, to which I temporarily turned the camera after shooting the candles. This represents the blur, a temporary flash of distraction, which Paul must sense as he makes his journey towards recovery. (Colour: he is not in a dark place.) He can see the light of the candles through the blur, a blur which will move out of the way, as he gets better… Finally I aimed the camera at the (darker) benches, whose space and firmness symbolise the love of so many who are supporting him.
William fforde 28th March 2009 (Date of visit 25th March)
Anyway, I am in the middle of taking a series of photos, involving movement, in cathedrals across Europe. I took this one in the Dom at Feldkirch, and feel that it sums up Paul’s current position.
A long exposure: the candles, which do not move, represent the constant light of hope - Paul can see them and understand that there is both a way forward and a destination (as indeed we can). The flared colours are from the stained glass windows, to which I temporarily turned the camera after shooting the candles. This represents the blur, a temporary flash of distraction, which Paul must sense as he makes his journey towards recovery. (Colour: he is not in a dark place.) He can see the light of the candles through the blur, a blur which will move out of the way, as he gets better… Finally I aimed the camera at the (darker) benches, whose space and firmness symbolise the love of so many who are supporting him.
William fforde 28th March 2009 (Date of visit 25th March)
Visting Paul
For those who don’t know me, I was at school with Graham (Simpson), have known his twin sisters Penny (and Trish, unforgettably – this applies to them both!) since they were 6, and Paul since he and Penny got together; I am one of William’s godfathers, though, having lived abroad for getting on for 10 years now, I have not seen as much of the Hiltons recently as I would have liked.Returning from Dubai to Tuscany, and, not having seen Paul for a year or two, I am embarrassed to have to admit that I found the prospect of seeing him in this awful situation a bit of a challenge. A bit of self-indulgence I only admit in case anyone else feels this way: allay such thoughts. Of course, initially to see Paul like this is distressing, but to see Paul’s reaction to my visit was a most uplifting experience and the more people can spend time with him, clearly the better it will be for him (and them). I shall be going back. If you can go to see him, please, please do. It is rewarding for everyone, and the best help we can give Paul and of course Penny, Charlotte and William.
For this reason, I thought I should include something about Feldkirch. This is where you will be staying. In the Old Town, not far from the Dom, The Hotel Alpenrose (+43 5522 721 1750 hotel.alpenrose@cable.vol.at)is charming and good value. It is listed in the Michelin red guide. I phoned ahead and spoke to the splendid Clement, to say that I would be arriving late because of the snowstorms. He said he would keep some dinner for me, as I would arrive after the restaurant closed (open 6-10pm). I was welcomed with a thoroughly typical and delicious Austrian meal: consommé with noodles, three slices of Weiner schnitzel and chips, a lavish side salad and a very naughty chocolate mouse with fruit; a nice glass of red wine. Comfortable room (double sold as single – 10 is Penny’s room, but use it if she is not there: it’s a good one, as you would expect!), with tidy bathroom, flatscreen TV, wardrobe, bedside table, writing desk and telephone. Free Wifi. Dinner bed and breakfast (7-10am) came to 114 euros. Friendly staff. Parking across the way.Feldkirch is on the Austrian-Lichtenstein-Swiss border, in a valley below the western edge of the Austrian Alps. Both the Old Town and the Dom (cathedral) get a star from the Michelin Green Guide, so worth strolling around to see them. As Paul’s visiting hours are only from 3pm to 7pm, you will probably have time to take the place in, and also catch up with email or whatever, as I did. Penny will guide you if you are flying (Zurich), and you can get there by train. There are motorways north to Germany as well.
The drive from Italy (6 hours from Tuscany and 3 hours from Milan) is a beautiful journey, but I should have planned to get over the mountains before dark. Crossing the Little St Bernard Pass was hairy, to say the least. Had I not been in my Panda 4x4 I would not have made it to Austria. If you intend to drive from Italy or southern Switzerland to Feldkirch before the snow season is over, I would advise using a 4x4 and travelling in daylight, if precipitation is forecast: the road north of the Little St Bernard Pass (tunnel) remains at high altitude for quite some distance, and was worse for conditions than the south of England was on 2nd February - again no sign of a snowplough! (I guess this risk will diminish after a month or so.)Paul’s hospital is at Rankweil, 10 minutes by car north of Feldkirch. It is the only hospital in the centre of Rankweil and the signs to it are very clear. The hospital has a bit of a pre-fab stalag feel about it from the outside, but this melds into high tech, when one walks through the door of the ward. Paul is on the first floor in (Area G1) – follow the orange lines and then take the lift to the first floor. There is a pay car park at the back of the hospital (drive past all the other parking on your way in, and then follow the blue and white P sign). From the car park to Paul’s ward is about 3 minutes walk. If in doubt, follow the signs to Info and they will direct you to Paul.
You have to find someone to let you into Paul’s ward. Once you get to G1 you should find enough people around to do this (white opaque glass sliding door on the right, once in G1). Paul is in a ward, but has his own enclosure to himself, all linked to screens and other hi-tech facilities, which only added to my confidence that he is in the right place (and probably best to stay there for some while). They clearly know what they are doing there.
I arrived at 3pm, the start of visiting hours and they found me a chair, adjusted the height of Paul’s bed enabling me to side beside him and read bits from Evelyn Waugh, Hilaire Belloc and hopefully some quotes he found amusing from the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, as well as talking to him, playing games with the speech therapists and giving him the news from home provided by Penny and Charles.
When I arrived he was asleep, but they said they should wake him up, because he needs activity. Different staff came at different times and turned him over and otherwise made him comfortable. The speech therapists (who come Monday to Thursday at present) were with him for about 30 minutes, and were happy for me to stay. Engage the staff: many speak English, and they need to know more about Paul.
Go and see him: it will be rewarding and monotony-breaking for Paul, comforting to Penny & the kids, and uplifting for you. I will be going back, probably around 24th April.
If anything, I would encourage people to go in groups of more than one (though of course Penny, if there, counts as 1, and 2 is probably enough), because, at this stage, although one can ask Paul questions and get yes or no answers, he does not always respond. It is easier to involve and amuse him with a dialogue, as proved to be the case when the two speech therapists (only one of whom was fluent in English) did their treatment. If anyone else has a 24 hour window in their diary around then (22-26/4ish; I’m not exactly sure yet), I would be interested to know and make plans for a double act, if the medics think this is a good idea. I realise that most people would be coming from the UK, but if anyone is reading this in Italy, I will probably be driving from Tuscany, and so would be able to give a lift from Lucca (near Pisa airport), or from La Spezia, Parma, Milan, Como or Lugano, all of which I would be passing...
William fforde 28th March 2009 (Date of visit 25th March)
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